Paper Towns movie reminded me what it feels like to be young and fearless again.
Rewind backwards ten years ago, to be that “me,” that awkward and chubby me walking in the hallway carrying a school backpack in high school in the U.S., when the biggest concern then was asking someone to go to prom, if someone has asked you to go to prom yet, or if he told you he likes you yet, or if you should let your friends know you like him.
When you are young and in love for the first time, all the experiences intensify. “Have you kissed him?” “How was it?” “Did you guys make out!?” “Have you done it!?!?” All these questions feel like the biggest deal in the world.
Ten years afterwards, as soon as it starts, you know what to expect and are no longer surprised how things develop and how stories unfold. Things are still special, but nothing can be compared to the first experience. You learn from the past, you have been hurt, you hurt someone, you are now fully aware that love comes with pain, you also come out of it with a rough edge, with guarded heart.
Since when did we turn jaded and cynical?
“Look, your comfort zone is this small. Remember, tonight is how you should feel for the rest of your life.”
This movie revived that feeling of doing something for the first time, of being young and fearless, of putting it all out there with no regrets, of taking adventures, of not caring about a thing in the world, of being in the here and now, of living in the moment, of feeling excited and scared but embracing a new chance anyway, of looking at the world with bright eyes as if it’s full of millions opportunities.
I wonder, ten years afterwards, if it’s still possible to live and possess the mindset of a 17 year old.