Hi Change. It’s been almost a year since we last met. Not that long I suppose, but when encountering you again, I almost forgot what it feels like, and almost forgot I still needed you.
Encountering new, unfamiliar changes surely is confusing. At the same time anxiety and worry join forces as you are exposed to these things for the first time.
But it’s been a while I’ve felt this. I was too relaxed for too long. It can be stressful in the beginning, in this unknown territory, but somehow, surprisingly I’ve missed it. Being confused is confusing! Yet it means I’m learning new things again. You can never take learning opportunities for granted – they make you grow, they make you become a smarter and better you.
And it’s so important at this point of my life. I still think it is. This is not the period to stop and stay still.
Being surrounded by talented people also pushed stress even further. But again, hopefully the environment will keep me motivated. I only hope I won’t feel too stressed or too worried that I will underperform or won’t live up to the expectation. I’m fully aware I have the tendency to put the pressure on myself, even when no one is forcing me anything. Usually I am always the one who drives myself crazy, thinking I’m never good enough. What a nagging feeling! The right amount of pressure is good, but too much of it will leave you nothing but stress and worry. And worry never fixes anything, only makes the situation worse than it is.
Ever thought the older we get, the harder people say or admit “I don’t know”? I see this attitude often and am sadden by it. People are scared to admit what they don’t know, because they are afraid others could view them incompetent or even stupid. As a result, they seem to work hard pretending they know everything, but in fact they haven’t got a clue. And this creates a lot of problems afterwards.
Ego is a very dangerous word when you get older. Funnily enough, perhaps it takes more courage to admit what you don’t know to other people. After all, isn’t it impossible for a person to know everything?
I’m trying my best to not be scared of asking questions and admitting I don’t know something, but at the same time showing I’m willing to learn and improve myself.
HA! This blog post feels like a pep talk to myself to keep it going. Release stress by writing it out, perhaps. I might need to come back and re-read it when I feel overwhelmed!