Guilt on lazy days

I don’t know why I always feel guilty on days I get super lazy. Usually it’s either Saturday or Sunday.

Like today, by the time I rolled over and properly got up was almost 12 *shudder* I was up a while ago, but when I had no plan to do that day, sometimes I just stayed in bed for…nothing.

Sunday, isn’t it?

But I think it’s a bad habit and I don’t like it. Yet I keep doing it.

And then I really did nothing apart from scrolling down Instagram feed or watching blogger videos on YouTube or reading really random stories/articles here and there on my phone. I didn’t even read a proper book. Sometimes I don’t bother taking a shower until 3 or 5PM. Why do I even bother taking a shower at 5PM? Not sure either.

And for some reason, on days like this, I feel guilty as hell.

I feel like there’s so much I should be doing. Why don’t I finish any online courses I’ve started? Why don’t I sit down and learn more about digital marketing, when I never think I know enough? Why don’t I start cleaning or clearing out my closet? Why don’t I start having my own domain name for this blog? Why don’t I learn how to properly cook? Why don’t I start learning how to make an aeropress coffee?

Why am I sitting here and doing nothing?

My close friend could probably say, stop beating yourself up again, everyone needs to have a break once in a while, and it’s ok to do nothing. Ironically enough, she’s the one who never, ever has a day off – constantly working and working, be it Friday night or Sunday afternoon.

Maybe I feel pressured from comparing myself to my peers or even my own brother, who started his own business and hardly ever has a day off either? Maybe I am caught up in this way of life for people my age that being busy is valued?

Damn.

Kinda sad.

Or maybe not. Maybe I feel bad that I can’t force myself to focus on something? Nothing I feel strongly passionate about?

Maybe I am scared, maybe it’s the fear that time is ticking and if I don’t start doing anything meaningful or useful, one day it’s gonna be too late, when I look back on these lazy days of mine?

Oh dear, this is getting out of hand. I should stop this pointless blog post. This already feels like some really random rant that’s going nowhere.

Being honest as hell here, not the kind of stuff you see on Instagram or Facebook, eh?

Still got a few hours left on this cloudy Sunday. Wanna bet if I can move my ass to do something?

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