Some life reflection

Feel like writing out of a sudden after haven’t written anything for so long. To me, writing is so important that it helps reflect back on what happened; some key moments in life. Gives you a sense of clarity. And I NEED that, or would feel like life is aimless and going nowhere.

Have time today to sit down, write, and think. A bit more peaceful after the past hectic 2 months. And just recovered from this nasty cold I’ve had since Morocco last week.


Where do I start? November…ah, so hectic and stressful. It was weeks after weeks of department budget review. Lots of long meetings and grinding for our dept budget, line by line. It was too intense for everyone. But we got compliment in the end that we are the most well-prepared compared to previous years. It was the first time I did the entire department budget so it was a lot to learn for me. But now I know how it’s done. I’ve learned something new!

Health-wise, really, really not doing well. Had a bit of a cold, feeling stressed and tired all the time. There was an entire weekend I just stayed home and slept all day long and just felt so drained.

One highlight or the most positive thing EVER of November? I finally PRed my deadlift – 110 kgs now!!!!!!! You have NO idea how much it means to me. Expected to do this in July, was devastated and down with major self doubt, but tried to identify my flaws and techniques and picked myself back up. Did lots of research and watched SO many deadlift techniques tutorials. Trying to perfect my form. And all of those paid off in November. It was one of the best feelings ever, knowing you are capable for anything once you put your mind to it. I was SO, SO happy.

And now back to training for a bigger goal next year. It’s never ending you know, this journey!


Started with this wonderful trip to Morocco. It has always been on my list to travel, and very happy to say it totally exceeded my expectation. Amazingly stunning, beautiful country. And very exotic for me. Everything is SO different and eye opening.

This year has been almost a year of no travel for me. Last time I was abroad was in Japan in January. January!!! WAY too long. And I wouldn’t say that was travel as Japan is more or less my second home, and I went back to visit friends and the city I studied in. To me it wasn’t like travel or exploration at all. But more like going back to somewhere familiar with a hint of nostalgic feelings.

Then we went to Morocco and I felt like, wow, this IS AMAZING! Going to somewhere entirely different and being WOWed by its experiences, cultures and nature. I almost forgot I MISSED this. Personally find it a little harder now that I’ve traveled here and there for years, to be amazed by a new destination. Europe surely didn’t make me feel that…WOW. The other year we went to Northern Italy and it was so nice but I more or less knew what to expect from all these countries in Western Europe.

But Morocco totally blew me away. Getting on a camel ride seeing sunrise over sand dunes in Sahara was surely a very memorable experience. First time I made it to Africa. First time in Arabic country. First time in a desert, and it’s The Sahara! This entirely different culture and nature fascinated me so much. The country is so rich of colors, culture and nature.

My only complaint was the food as I really couldn’t eat much. Really sick of Tagine and didn’t like Couscous at all. Moroccan mint tea was also not my cup of tea, way too sweet! So much vegetables all the time with everything so bland and tasteless for me. Totally struggling with it and lost weight as a result. Would have been happy if it was years ago to lose weight but now no…It’s not good! I NEED strength to lift heavy shit!

All in all it was a great trip but way too tiring as everyday was so full of activities all day. Was a bit much for me. I prefer going on my own pace and taking more time. It was way too intense that I got sick 2 days before returning to Thailand.

Just a great reminder that…exploration is another important part of my life and it feels good for me whenever I do it. And I should make time for this, trying to find new and different destination to explore from time to time. This year I’ve been focusing so much on work as there have been so many changes, that I felt I didn’t really wanna go anywhere much. Need to make sure I have some time off here and there.

No post-vacation blues

What surprised me was, zero post vacation blues! I came back on Monday and already felt on top of things, in control, catching up with my team on what I missed and got a lot done! Can share with you this isn’t the case many years ago. I remembered once we came back from Bali, I had this major post holiday blues and felt like I wanted to quit my job right away. I didn’t, told myself to calm down and re-evaluate things. But a few months after I resigned anyway. That post holiday blues was some kind of wake up call that clearly I wasn’t happy with my job and it was time to switch it up. There were times I wanted to get away or escape ALL the time, get out of Bangkok. Now looking back I can say, definitely I wasn’t happy with my job and felt too unmotivated, so I used travel as an excuse to escape. Some self-analysis going on here! (As usual…).

So yeah, can you believe 2019 is about to end in 2 weeks!? Now still in this planning mode of going ahead into 2020. Yesterday I did lots of planning on how to improve the team and work process going forward, and it felt AMAZING. Super productive. It seems like I got this energy and motivation from Morocco trip, which is another reason why I should make time to get away somewhere entirely different from time to time. You come back with fresher eyes and renewal energy. Love it!

Had a nice talk with my boss before he left home for Christmas. Definitely more changes coming in January and that gave me a peace of mind to know where I will stand. Always good to have clear communication, although some talks can feel difficult and tricky to make. Tried to be assertive and did it.

What else? 2019 reading challenge! I’m at 29 books this year it seems. I’ve been setting a goal of 35 books/year for a few years now but could never achieve it! It’s alright. Last year only read 20 books with all the stress at work, so this year it’s an improvement. My mother never really understood why I need to set goal for reading. Can’t blame her. Didn’t even bother to explain. How can you explain someone who isn’t a goal-oriented person to understand?

Will probably do a private reflection of 2019 somewhere in my journal. Wow, WHAT A YEAR. REALLY. If you look at my life in January, there’s no way I could predict I would be where I am in December. And a lot more at peace and content overall. Lots of progress on powerlifting and training in general too, how I’ve been more serious about it, no longer a beginner, and started to fall in love with the journey and process. What a twist and turn of this thing called life. Never failed to amaze me. I love that my life still isn’t some boring or passive thing to be passed years after years. Being dynamic (with some Me time and a peace of mind, not overly stressful!) is great for the time being for me. Looks like 2020 will be another busy year, lots of big, exciting projects coming up, let’s do it!

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